in the country - snowed in

It's not to late to turn back.

Hello. Monday night before Christmas and John went to the city to host dinner for friends and I stayed in the country with the snow covered house and hill. He gave me a gift of staying behind to be in the studio. Going through incredible emotions lately recently. A year ago we lost our Dad and whose knows what else, fifty? No I am fine but overwhelmed and sad none-the-less. The holidays are supposed to be happy times. They normally are for me and I'm not attributing it to the holidays - totally.

When I take it out on the work that makes me feel sad. Feeling free and available to explore paint, new subject matter. Back to the snow I felt compelled to clear the front and back entrance to the house and push it off terraces. I still have to get up on the roof to see the drifts. It is good physical work for me and good for the house so a win win situation. Two and a half feet, where we live. The town did not or was not prepared for the storm. Main streets were still a mess the next morning. Maybe I'm not realistic but I thought the roads should have been more clear, had they been plowed during the storm. I don't mind being snowed in as long as there is coffee and cream. Okay some fruit and water there is rice so I'm set. Fat because I made a batch of cookies and John and I were insatiable, five or six a go, lunch, dinner, lunch, dinner. Enough.

I just happen to feel like I am making the paintings of my life right now and it freaks me out because maybe I'm wrong. I'm almost positive that they are good and will get better as I am always finding something new.

If I could get my paintings in front of the right person who could sell them, I mean cheap, that would be the answer for me. Of course I'm dreaming. first of all that they are good. Ha.

I need to continue with the smaller paintings. Much more manageable and practical. I guess after the energy of the larger ones I need to think smaller.