Hello. I'm feeling a little better than I did yesterday which is a good thing because that was not good. I did some cleaning in my studio which was needed and always helps the mood.
This is a detail of one of my large paintings.
Someone commented on my post yesterday telling me that they usually go to the cinema when they feel like I did. It felt good to receive a totally anonymous connection with someone who had some simple advice to help me get out of my head and see that there of ways of dealing with these feelings that can potentially immobilize me. Well, till the next time. No one said it would be easy I guess I just never expected it to be this difficult.
Another thing is the age issue. It does not bother me in day to day life but at the same time it is hovering like a dark cloud. I sound like I am contradicting myself but it really isn't a contradiction because I can feel great day to day if I wait five seconds and those feelings come back. If it is not in my thoughts it's in my body feeling tired. But of course I will not give in. I am a fighter, that I've proven. Right now the verdict is out. I will let you know.