Friday, October 3, 2008

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Hello. So I have had a full day. Pushing paint around on two new paintings for submissions to Glaad and I am moving on. I've started a new layout and hopefully tomorrow I will be able to make a good painting. So I am typing in the dark as my mother is sleeping and well that is that. We had a pretty full day visiting Ron and Lise and darling Luca. What a cute baby he is and what a wonderful mother Lise is, they both are so happy.

As I am in the city on a Saturday and have not been in so long I got up early and headed over to the Chelsea Flea Market to see if there were any good Robert Loughlin paintings. Well there were a couple but nothing that I needed. He is evidently having a tough time, drinking too much. It is sad as it seems to reflect on the work. The paintings were not drawn very well and as it is the same motif. for me it needs to be drawn well. Oh well it was a disappointment as I do not have anything from 2008. Maybe next weekend.

I realized recently thinking about painting while being watched is not so comfortable for me but with the size of my apartment and with my mother here for four days I needed to get over it if I planned to get anything done. It really put me in a crazy mood I had to just chill out and do it. I guess I have gotten so used to working alone and being really comfortable with that, that having someone sitting and watching feels uncomfortable. I have had the same feelings with the thought of John being there. In my early twenties I worked with my mother hanging around and worked with groups and worked in museums or landscape outside with strangers hanging around. Then I loved the attention. Anyway, I did get over it and moved on which is what I will do with this train of thought.

So tomorrow is Sunday and the plan is to see "The Dutchess" I want to see it but we have been busy and I just want to crash. The only part that is not so much fun is the reality that we have to take cabs pretty much everywhere. It is not so easy for Mom to walk everywhere even though the exercise would be good it is tiring for her. I think she is having a nice visit and that is the most important thing. It is also good for me to be able to do this. I do have to accept that it is an unusual thing that I do. Having your mother stay with you as a forty-eight year old man in a studio apartment or for that matter anyone staying with you in a small space if it is where you live and work...I am rambling. It's just not easy and it is important to see it honor yourself and let it go. The reality is I really don't want it any other way. I want her to visit and this is my living situation so this is what it must be. It is good for her to as she loves to visit my sister and me and hang out. We all benefit I guess.

So the painting on this post is a little graphite on canvas painting from a few years ago. Rather simple and silly but I am really drawn to it. No pun intended. It is 12:20 am and I really should hit the hay but I feel like rambling a bit. I also think that the longer I stay awake the easier I may fall asleep, I've been noticing that maybe I have been drinking a bit to much coffee. Anyway we will not think about that.

Thinking about painting, I made some beautiful colors today. Working on a grass painting and using my limited palette I made some very rich greens. I love the way colors overlap or overlay or sit side by side. It can be very rewarding the best is when it seems to happen without that much thought. John tells me that my East Hampton Star as looks really good it is next to the Pollack Krasner foundation ad. and Pamela Williams Gallery is on the opposite page. That makes me very happy but of course I realize that is it alphabetical order so there you go. Just a stroke of luck. John tells me that the color looks vibrant and the painting looks photorealistic which is amazing because it is so painterly. I love that. The power of paint and color.

I did not do any stretching today and I am paying for it. my shoulders are a mess and I must take care of myself tomorrow or I will be in trouble.


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