Hello. Someone, a fellow blogger said that I should post art work during the process and talk about it.
It is a very good idea and can only benefit me. This is a new painting and it has moved a little pasted this stage and I think it is finished. It will be stretched approximately 18"x18" maybe 19" sq. if I am lucky.
It came about from digging into my gut and finding the courage to pick up a pile of paint and blindly put it on the canvas. Of course with my eyes open but really trying not to make pictures and make pictures at the same time. I settle about making a color and generally I have luck making something that makes me happy. I am about to put the gloves on and walk around looking at things and decide what needs attention. Try to be there and if I am lucky enough make a good mark. They are all different but I am seeing a signature in the work. Even if I have allowed something concrete to happen some representation. Mostly symbols I guess. Lots of grass or green that is and blue sky?? But trying not to make the green planted or the sky up. One painting has a tree, a skull, part of a picket fence and some yellow fucking flowers that are killer. And some grey mass that I think is water, the ocean, rough as shit just like it is. Last week a forty-five year old woman was taken in a serious seventy yard rip tide in East Hampton with Her husband on the beach. May she rest in peace. Wow the power of the ocean. These tides are not to be fooled with and I've been lucky. One second you are in up to your knees and then to your chest and fucked. I've been in one and lived through it but it is terrifying. The feeling of literally being up against a brick wall. I will be more careful because I do not want to be fished out for many reasons.
Just now out in the yard I saw two deer. One was small and the other male had a limp in the left rear leg and one antler bent down and forward but as terrible as this sounds the animal was beautiful and otherwise looked healthy. Hopefully the limp doesn't kill him and the antler will fall off, hopefully painlessly and He will reign supreme.
Back to the creative process. I was going to start with a negative self deprecating comment and realized how foolish it was and that does not always happen, so lucky you. After trying to be a good draftsman most of my life I now just play with color. That was all I wanted to do I guess, regress to childhood with the life lived. Get out of the way for the child in me to say fuck you.
I thought I wanted to be a great draftsman I always worked hard as it takes work and patience. I accept today that it is not the most important thing and really a herculean achievement, inside. Drawing something well. Of course that accomplishment could be a line on a piece of paper, absolutely. I feel lucky as I am in my studio more than many people, some can only dream of. I happen to have just settled in and have the whole week to spend in "it". I have other things to do but the main focus if I organize my time properly is the studio and work. And I need to be working as now I've done it I am putting the shit out there. If there are no takers I'm off to the Hudson....river that is. No that's gross. I'll go back to EH and find me a rip tide. "Gotta Move"
I am part of the Affordable Art Fair, Sept. 30 - October 3, 2010 which is all I am working towards at this point. No pressure. I am feeling free with the paint and I feel it is my friend. So I am still lucky. I don't feel like editing this stream of conscious thought. M.