This is a gratitude post.

So here I am back and just about finishing up making oatmeal cookies with raisins and walnuts and they are good I like them but they have a cake texture as opposed to crunchy cookie texture. I love bread so it is fine with me. That is the thing with baking unless you are good you never know what the outcome will be. Listening to the radio and just very happy that I pulled myself away from the TV.

Hello. I can very easily go to a miserable ungrateful place. But for this once I am going to try to think about all there is to be happy about. If you were here you would have noticed the pause at the end of that thought. So I am getting a little attention for a couple of paintings and that is wonderful. I want to be in the studio but without going to far I will say that I am rather tired and instead sitting with you for a while. Thinking that maybe if I sit with it for a bit I really will get the gratitude that will help me get the energy to move.

I have the Olympics on mute and it is a very positive thing to watch so if anything can talk me off the ledge it's a bunch of over achieving kids. Oops. See how easy it is for me to be nasty. Not at all a challenge like the Olympics. So there you have it.

The weather is really winter like and tiresome I have to say. Not much to do about that though. How do nice people do it all the time?

So I have two coats of primer on a new canvas, having new surfaces to work on or contemplate is always a nice feeling. I found myself googling Mark Bittman sugar cookie recipes because I know I have sugar, flour, and everything I need for sugar cookies. Do I need cookies? No of course not. I could make oatmeal cookies which would be a better decision as there are raisins and nuts and oats. I think I may do it. Cooking can be therapeutic. We shall see.

i wonder why it is so hard to make the healthy choice all the time

http://www.bwac.org/home.html It is official I can talk about his as I have had contact and we are in agreement. My large "Golden Imagined Landscape" will be in the Wide Open Art Show. There will also be at least one 16"x20" Abstract Landscape maybe three. It is my first juried show acceptance and I am very pleased although it involves some grunt work on my part it will be amazing to see the painting public for a few weeks and I am thrilled. Excuse me while I post this info on facebook. It is a known fact that more people see facebook than my blog. I don't know don't ask me?

Hello. I often make the right healthy choice but sometimes I repeatedly make the easier, self medicating choice. Like that second candy bar. Listen I'm not about torture or denial regarding cravings in life, clearly. At this point what is the point but from a healthy quality of life stand point it is wise to stop and think about how I will feel later and then ask myself is that what I want to do? Get the point?

The book that I am making for my mother took a turn that felt forced and not as inspired yesterday. I rethought and made a different decision and then things started rolling and I made some really great choices. It is shaping up and getting close to completion. I am going to continue with the book idea it seems to be the way I am thinking. It makes sense in a way the desire to get things in order together. Putting things that I have saved together, consolidating. getting rid of things that don't make the cut. How judgemental. Anyway it does make sense if you know me at all. And if so I apologize.

Okay my point earlier about healthy choices came from a very shallow place. As I have some paintings in a show and there is a reception coming up I realize I will be a little public and if I want to feel on top of it I better start now well two years ago but now is all I have.

Let it go. Move on. Get the focus

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/molly-secours/john-mayer-racism-and-the_b_458434.html

Some things need to be told.

This writing is out of sequence. I had to write about and incredible thing. My painting that went to Sweden from USPS when it arrives it will be taken to Bukowski's http://www.bukowskis.se/ where it will be stretched by experts who deal with art. So I was so overwhelmed that it happened as I worried about the fate of the painting. You never know what can happen when you give up power. So yes I am in the studio and about to start taking down a large painting. A dedication to Alexander McQueen with this painting of mine "Golden Imagined Landscape" It looks crazy/adventurous enough to look like him if I can flatter myself. I new very little about McQueen but will know more no doubt as time goes on. He was legendary already at forty. I'm putting Golden Imagined Landscape at the top of my blog Maybe. Wow just made the change and the landscape works very well even not centered.

Pink Kitty

Hello. Imagine writing so much about something you know very little. Speaking of John Mayer, I really know very little about the story. I will have to eventually read it but the thought is so gross to me at this point in time.

I am back in the studio where it is getting warmer and I am settling in. The music is invigorating is that good or not. I guess good. It gets the blood going. I have been out in the country for a couple of hours and settled in. I have to start removing staples from the large painting. Which in case you were wondering wether or not it was fun. It's really not. If you've done one you've literally done a million. So I'll put some gloves on and start pulling. See you later.

anonymous commenting, it's a choice i guess

Hello. Someone clicked on one of my posts and didn't leave a note. I have the feeling they might have been selling something. If that is the case wouldn't you assume they would write something. My thought for the day. "If you are going to take the time to do something do it with conviction. Stand up and be counted"

OK so let me state here that I am aware that I do not do things in order, proper sequence on my blog. So why should "my" blog be different from "my" life which is pretty amazing I must say. I have a lot of gratitude for my life. At fifty, I digress.

Last night (I didn't get to sleep at all no, no, no, the sleeping pill I took was just a waste of time. I couldn't close my eyes cause you were on my mind. I love Marilyn MaCoo)(just in case you were wondering if I am gay I put that to rest while aging myself I might add) while walking down to John's I stopped into this gallery on Seventh Ave. called Lyons Wier Gallery http://lyonswiergallery.com/ the show that is up is a woman whose name I can't think of right now, love the back button, TERRI THOMAS, is the painter "Hedone" is the title of the show, from Texas around forty-ish and can she paint. They are crazy self-portraits, full figure totally nude. She has a beautiful body and is not afraid to show any of it. They are slick and gorgeous with birds and butterflies and diamond sequence all over the place. She is one of a twin and there is a piece that has two Deer heads with full antlers mounted on the wall, like traditional trophies. Life size with one antler joined so they are connected, they are covered with shimmery silver stuff and then covered with white diamond like sequence so they sparkle. It is not an original idea (what is? by the way, bitch) but Hers have more feeling that many other similar studded sculpture. There are 3-d sparkly butterflies agian life size mounted with pins to the wall and diamond studs on nipples all over the place. I guess they are all specimens. The Women, the Deer Heads, the pin mounted Butterflies. The one painting on the sites homepage and my post, has a white peacock and that about says it all. She is brilliant! And if I were a collector with unlimited funds I would definitely get one of Her paintings. Her attention to detail is matched by Her skill. There is a relief quality to the paint in certain areas which makes them more personal and beautiful in person. They are more than could ever be reproduced. This is a painter who puts her shit on the canvas and that is one reason they are more than just nudes.

newsflash, snow coming

This painting at the top of my blog is a favorite detail from one of my favorite 86"x86" recent abstract paintings, titled "Liquid Landscape" I do love the Liquid I'm not totally sold on the Landscape but until I think of something better. I am always up for recommendations for titles. Even titles for paintings I haven't made yet.

Hello. What's going on? I am in my apartment in the city and it is a picture perfect winter snow day. It is beautiful from this vantage point and that is it. Maybe I will take some photos. More to come.

This image is from the country a few weeks ago after a snow storm.

I'm in as far as I know

Or should I say my painting is in. Hello. I was accepted to my first juried show. If you are an artist you may know what I mean by saying it's a bloody miracle. I almost didn't enter this one, like many in the past because I've never been accepted.

John encouraged me to go ahead with it and on the last day for submissions with email there is no reason not to. Anyway they accepted my large submission. "Golden Imagined Landscape" the detail at the top of the blog is a detail from the painting. It's pretty scary and I am nervous as hell and there it is. But very excited about showing a large-ass painting with a bunch of other artists. I think One hundred and forty something? That could make me nuts if I think about it. It's a big job to install this monster that is not exciting at all as I have to do it totally. That should be as no surprise to me really it isn't I just assume that I will have to install my work. I've got to get someone over there to see it. This means war. I have to go back and look at the organization and the curator's to see what it is all about. Brooklyn Waterfront Artists Coalition is the group. http://www.bwac.org/home.html I have a lot to do right??? Aren't you thrilled that I feel the need to write about it. If you continue I actually talk about painting.

I connected with a Swedish friend a truly lovely woman who offered to arrange the stretching of the painting that I just shipped to Sweden. Isn't that wonderful? She did recommend a very good man for the job which I new she would know. She works for the big Auction House in Sweden, Bukowski's. She has very kindly given me many large, beautiful catalogs from the auction house. I am hoping to use this guy as I will feel confident that He gets it write.

I really like the painting on this post. It has a twin called "The Ship" Maybe I'll rename it "The Great Ship" This one is called "Approaching the Harbor" They were absolutely a bit groundbreaking for me. I stress for me. To make something that did not evolve from a photo but from my head and feeling like it had some narration when it came from abstract thinking.

I guess it is all about feeling. These two paintings evoke many feelings for me. For some reason I felt very strong connections to great painters of the past when I started this group of work. Thinking of large sweeping landscapes scaled down in all ways. Knowing that my application was going to be quick, detail is avoided, well what is traditionally thought of as detail. I've found that an intentional bit of color can become something solid that gives a feeling of something.

I guess I've switched one way of working, that is photography with thinking about great art for my inspiration. Dead or living I get inspiration to be able to paint the way I do and to paint within my limitations. As best as I am able to.

As well as I am able to paint there was a time when I would question my painting as naive but

not in a good way, bad. This is harsh and not the way I felt 90% of the time at all but there was that nagging voice telling me that I was crap. Now I do see and hear that voice for what it is. I love the way I paint I feel like I paint like a lucky twenty year old. Do I sound like a self help meeting? Boring. Okay goodnight.

That last paragraph was really painful but tonight I can't edit. Shucks. I mean shit.

How much can I accomplish today?

Hello. I guess the answer is as much as I can. I want more. Today I am waiting for Time Warner cable to fix my cable line which is out of commission. Lucky me.

While waiting I plan on doing some things around the apartment. Just found out that on Wednesday we are expecting twelve inches of snow from my personal Weather Man. I told him that I am going to wait and see how it plays out before panicking.

Just mailed the painting to SWEDEN. I am very happy to have it behind me. mailing two large paintings is not the easiest thing to do. Maybe for some but for me it was time consuming. Pack it and ship it. Anyway the next shipments will be easier as a result of this that is for sure. another accomplishment for today. YEA!!!

The managing of time, that is the challenge

Hello. Yes that is my dilemma which is certainly not new. I am just facing the reality of my feelings which are about not creating enough. Recently I have been thinking about how my process is so different and has been changing of course over my life but now I am painting oil on canvas pretty exclusively and I guess I am just missing the other things that I could be creating. Small works on paper of any kind. Drawings. Journals. I guess blogging put journalling (not a word according to abc but I think a good one) in the traditional way, out of business.

This is a detail from a larger painting called WET LANDSCAPE, 2009, oil on canvas, 86"x86"

I have just prepared and submitted my most professional folder of work. Ten images all labeled properly and consistently with a PAINTING LIST and a Bio. I did change the bio though starting it with my new approach to painting. Or some such BS. I'm working at taking away my self-imposed adult content warning because even though it's just a lot of cussing it is vulgar to some and I am not trying to offend. That's a laugh. There are some out there that I (seldom think to use bold) am so offended by it makes me sick, Sarah Palin. From the core of her being.

I get so mad when something as important as taking care of this country, becomes a goal for the likes of this inexperienced person with a taste for power and enough guts to bluff some. I really can't stand that she is part of the conversation and only hope that her downfall will happen sooner than later because it must be inevitable. Fearfully the only thing that I feel sure of is that anything can happen with the voter of this nation and McCain proves that. But then I remember President Obama and I feel better. I do I do I do believe.

The Cowardly Lion from TWoOz

By the way I do accept that I have a potty mouth, always have since I learned the way and probably not changing.

It's about painting